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macy's day bird

by Diane Cluck

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Otters, Common Wealth, Four Friends, Original Face, Boneset, West Coast Tour 2008, Monarcana, Countless Times, and 5 more. , and , .

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1.
( untitled ) 01:35
2.
save me 03:55
no way out of this one, baby i got out before, but now ! half walked half ran half couldn't wait to get to my end my end my end but sure something would save me draped in weakness i stop moving and it comes for me crawls up my legs like vines save me draped in weakness i stop moving and it comes for me crawls up my legs like vines with my mind free, ah me ! anything my eyes settle on is a whole lot more than i can stand to see with my blown mind, i find this is not the first time that i wish something would run up alongside and just save me drape me in weakness make me excuses ohhhhh save me drape me in weakness tell me i don't have to choose this cuz there's no way out out of this one baby i got out out before but now save me drape me in weakness make me excuses tell me i don't have to choose this please save me drape me in weakness make me excuses tell me it's okay to lose just save me one more time save me crawl up my legs like vines and drape me in weakness make me excuses tell me i don't have to choose this tell me it's okay to lose cuz really there's no use
3.
god made it rain so i'd run to the bus stop god knew otherwise i'd be late i grab the umbrella torn from a pawn shop drop all my keys down a grate but i have to give up and keep running-- i choke on my cough drop the neighbor's dog's launching itself at the gate, barking tossing itself like a ship onto rocks a creature that will not resign to its fate i say, “gimme five”, to my neighbor, a lefty he thought i meant money and handed me some i gave it back to my four-fingered lefty he slaps me five by adding the thumb from his right hand he says, “diane, why don't you quit that job that you've got? if you always run late, you must hate it. you know, if i were a woman i'd get me knocked up so i could sit home and look out at the snow” we watched the rain make old snow into glass snow into glass like the sun does to sand he says, "do you want to ?" and i say, "i guess..." he shivers under my five-fingered hand my spent neighbor leaves our sleight-of-hand alley and i am alone until something gets thrown at me blood on my cheek and the laughter of children the sting of a snowball embedded with stone i see neighborhood mothers wig out from their windows watching their archangels arc in the snow in sub-zero tempertures rigid and rosey kids stagger by with a frostbitten glow god made it rain so i'd run to the bus stop god knew otherwise i'd stay home calling in sick is no final solution hiding in bed and unplugging the phone sometimes you must work until you give out sometimes you must work until all work is done look at the way the rain clears a path for the sky to conceive an immaculate sun
4.
careful-- morning is coming morning is coming stay the hell away from the sun ! my love fell asleep uncovered last week she was burnt away by the sun merciless and driving heat from every corner merciless unending heat from every corner the hand that pitches horseshoes hitting ringers in the sun the horse will recollect his shoes when all the gaming's done and hear me hitting ringers ! i will pitch until i'm gone the sundial shadow of a stallion stretches out long across the lawn merciless and driving heat from every corner merciless unending heat from every corner careful morning is coming morning is coming stay the hell away from the sun careful morning is coming stay away from the sun
5.
hover not 03:21
hover not ! bend down to give one kiss more and then i'll leave you sense all this love beside you you sense how it's all you'd need but i can't spend this day beside you though once out, mark out how hard it was to leave cuz i do i do do do not want to sacrifice all time to sleep wading in till i'm thigh deep you shake off the world that wants you let it find you here in bed though him and bed will surely drown you so go leave both here behind, instead and though you do, you do do do not want to
6.
the perfume of her hangs in the air like an atmosphere promising thunderstorms the window is cracked, letting november in but her body beneath these blankets warms me her hair in wet feathers, pressed to her head the washed-out splendor of macy's day parade glitter and tinsel are clogging the drains causing a runoff that's flooding the city... she gives me a red rhinestone ring that fits only my thumb and i wonder-- was it her ex-husband's, or father's, or someone's cheap souvenir from a somewhere he took her ? i decide i won't be a gift-horse-mouth-looker so i wear it for awhile till' it gives me a rash i am not sentimental i toss it in the trash cuz i don't care if she likes me or not if she likes me or not i don't care if she likes me or not she was marching in the macy's day parade in a row of dancers decked out in the rain women in heels executing military drills goosestepping in lynchpin six-inch stilettos towards central park where the mud from its meadows runs into the gutters all glutted with pink ostrich feather the plumage that falls from a macy's day dancer answer me... it's raining crowds run for cover shoving, complaining streets full of women that beg you to praise them all lower their lashes and then slowly raise them they'll stare you down and then turn away but when they're hunting you can't you hear their eyes say, 'do you like me or not ? do you like me or not ? hey... do you like me or not ?' camera crews leave with rain on their lenses we leave with the first ones to befriend us i followed the holes her heels left in the mud while behind us the city was starting to flood her hair in wet feathers blue, blonde and red the washed out splendor of macy's day parade hair in wet feathers pressed to her head the washed out splendor of the nest unmade with sheets strewn over with sequins and trash cast off by parades that have already passed and i'm not the first this role gets recast the macy's day bird calls out from her nest-- 'do you like me ?... hey-- do you like me or not ? hey-- do you like me or not ? hey-- do you like me ?'
7.
( untitled ) 01:52
8.
and if i touch you plain as a beast in the barn to siphon its heat and in that way keep warm warm and slow and gentle and sweet if i move to you to siphon your heat will i feel you giving as simply to me ? effortless and silently or will i be read through the glass of mistrust ? like men who make passes when drunk, in disgust revealing the captive they've kept of their need a horrible flower a beautiful seed who would not recoil from this if they saw ? and though i'm afraid i might feel you withdraw i like to think of the beast in the barn that breathed on the baby to keep him all warm i know in my heart i am innocent too i cannot make my defense to you beyond what i say beyond what i do... so i move to you like the beast in the barn there are holes in the roof, and outside the storm sends some of its snow down to rest on your coat i bend my head to the heat of your throat and as i move to you you move to me effortless and silently
9.
yatzee dice 06:15
i am dreaming of the oxtail soup and the hot fry of scrapple and the clattering of yatzee dice across your kitchen table so i've rolled a snake eyes you keep score on the brown bag sharpen pencil with pen knife like you have done your whole life in the middle of the county and you seem so content buttering your saltine the pattern on your juice glass the hole in your door screen in the middle of the wire "have you ever known a lover besides my grandfather ? did you ever discover you can't sleep beside each other in the middle of the night ?" and grandma, you're smiling though you've heard no word i've said i recognize that smile means her hearing aid's gone bad and she's coasting in the silence cut free from conversation... grandma looks beneath the table says, “i see your secret now-- you wear white shoes past labor day, but i promise i won't tell. and if you wanna know why men fall asleep after sex, it's cuz they've thrown off their need. that's why we women stay awake tossing dice-- cuz we've just been shot through with seed and it's electrifying ! like fireflies sown into your lining.”
10.
i liked you as soon as i saw you it was something about the way your sweater and your eyes were blue and your hair was silver in the sunlight and your hair was gray when the sun went behind a cloud we run around and try to make the most of ourselves then when we stop-- we're haunted by the ghost of ourselves and i'd been running around and trying to make the most of myself so that day i stopped and let myself be haunted ah, me, outrunning myself so i stop and i hope my heart can find me oh, i hear it beating in the background catching up six or seven streets behind me you were standing by the water where the seabirds were circling i stood at a distance regarding you, regarding you your head thrown back it looked like you were trying to drink the sea all alone all alone... i liked you as soon as i saw you it was something about your hands and the way you were smoking like king of flaming faggots your fingers floating down from your mouth to your knee gently, gently as a butterfly lands we run around and try to make the most of ourselves then when we stop-- we're haunted by the ghost of ourselves and i'd been running around and trying to make the most of myself so that day i stopped and let myself be haunted by you because i liked you as soon as i saw you it was something about the way you simply stood there as the light withdrew into a passing cloud what more can i say ?
11.
[ she's got eyes like a battlefield nurse the kind that keep you clm when all around you things are getting worse ] x 2 dying all around me can i save but one or two ? he reaches out to touch me it's the last thing he'll ever do and sometimes i feel like a battlefield nurse it's a role that i was born for and did not need to rehearse they say, 'lady, tell me, how bad is it ?' they grimace and curse and i say, 'don't worry soldier, things could be a whole lot worse' i hold his body and wonder was this comfort that i gave ? i felt him drowning in me; he believed he was being saved so i told him, 'i am not a battlefield nurse. i've never saved a soldier and the war keeps getting worse. there is no kindness to be found here, these eyes are just a curse. the nursemaid is a liar she's the chauffer of your hearse.” she's got eyes like a battlefield nurse the kind that keep you calm when all around you things are getting worse she's got eyes like a battlefield nurse the kind that keep you calm when all around you all around you all around you things are getting worse oh...
12.
tonight is colder than the fingernails of bitches buckled belts on angry men i was riding when the onslaught happened i said, 'here we go again' there was paper blowing all around the ditches calling me to find a pen and when i went into the pen shop i almost stayed too long if you stop to think what color ink to write your scriptures in your vision will be gone and everytime i bear a vision of you i admit, i try to stop it but mothers cannot carry babies past their due so why deny if i'm a prophet i see you waiting like an impatient sun knowing the moon will soon eclipse it i see greatness in your future and then i see you'll never glimpse it before you're yanked away and oh, i shiver for all the unknown painters who complete their masterpieces on the undersides of rocks and everyday there are fishermen awake at dawn that find their boats have gone the ragged ropes still trailing off the docks... i'm waiting like an impatient son knowing his momma's gonna leave when you see death written on a living face before you you just get on with it cuz what are you supposed to grieve ? the night is teeming with the bloody teeth of traitors hear it beating with the plastic hearts of liars the toxic fumes would keep the godly ones away were they thrown into the fires but you are waiting like an impatient sun waiting for its turn to shine and like the sun we're gonna miss you your brightness when you leave us all behind
13.
( untitled ) 06:53

about

"Recorded at home in Brooklyn in the fall of 2001. The process of making “macy's day bird” felt literary--I enjoyed editing its lyrics for form and content.

I worked on the packaging from home in the evenings, printing up covers on pink construction paper and stitching together lyrics sheets. At that point, hand-distributing cd-rs was still relatively new for independent musicians.

Many nights were spent at the Sidewalk Cafe in New York's East Village sharing these songs and listening to the amazing creations of Turner Cody, Seth Faergoalzia, Dave Deporis, Jeffrey Lewis, Ish Marquez, Kimya Dawson, Barry Bliss and many, many others...

"macy's day bird" was later distributed by Important Records as part of a double-cd package along with "black with green leaves": dianecluck.info/store

--Diane

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released November 15, 2001

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Diane Cluck

Singer-songwriter in Charlottesville, VA

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