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Oh Vanille / ova nil

by Diane Cluck

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    "Your purchase directly supports my work as an independent musician. Thank you! Download of full album includes two bonus tracks ("EZ Demo" and "Gedifra"), song lyrics, high-resolution artwork from original cd-r release, plus four alternate cover drawings (6 images total)." --Diane
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    Get all 13 Diane Cluck releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Otters, Common Wealth, Four Friends, Original Face, Boneset, West Coast Tour 2008, Monarcana, Countless Times, and 5 more. , and , .

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1.
sun beams bright through shades of lonely don't you see i bring you only love ? no matter what it looks like count it when i beat and ride you count it when i lie beside you love no matter what it looks like all i bring you is love though it seems i leave you hollow know at least what end i follow love no matter what it looks like all i bring you is love all i bring you is love
2.
have i told you how i like to see a man submit to ecstasy with all his inhibitions free and moaning like his mother ? close his eyes and float from me ecstatic in his buoyancy cut loose and warm unthinkingly adrift in beatless wonder he's hidden down in pastures' grass as passersby are heading past at once unbound, the sun at last can shine on him no hotter he gives a welcome unto me we blind each other, joyfully and blind in joy, we do become much more like sister, brother steady home, man i'll ride you home and tether you tenderly by a stream let you drink alone and dream and i tell you i love to see a man submit to ecstasy with all his inhibitions free and moaning like his mother close his eyes and float from me ecstatic in his buoyancy cut loose, no harm will come to thee adrift in beatless wonder he's half a million miles from home he is home tho he's half a million miles from home, boys half a million miles from home he is home tho he's half a million miles from home, boys...
3.
did you receive this love across the telepathic desert switchboards are corroding in the micro-ranging waves did you receive this love across the telepathic desert a million signals singe for every syllable that saves today i send out love i wonder if you will receive it they shoot it down so often i have watched it and believe that if it hasn't reached your mind and it fell short of your heart it's still crawling through the desert floor where scorpions and sun scorch and sting it all apart do not misunderstand me i see the desert beauty the cactus flower blooming from the bleaching of the bones but this used to be a river till misappropriated by electrical confusion and the frying of the phones frequencies ranging thru arcs of extra signal yardage and miles of interfering stuff invisible scribblings overwrite the tired air with an ever-present static so the traveling is rough it stumbles over distances but i have sent enough the atmosphere unraveling till you receive this love
4.
i was in the coal mine picking up diamonds that the miners had left behind, behind, behind and i admired their cold shine simple & bright and i pocketed many in the cavernous night clear, when held up to the light you belong to no one you are easy to be around cuz you belong to no one you are easy to be around cuz you belong to no one you are easy to be around and i scattered them on the ground... in the wake of your eyes it decays you despise any weight and because and because and because you give it up ! you are easy to be around i like to walk beside you y're so easy to be around it's like i'm not even walking beside you we are rolling along the ground one shadow made of mercury we were two till we melted down now y're easy to be around y're easy to be around... i was in the coal mine picking up diamonds so heavy i had to leave them all behind coming up from the mineshaft sparkling bright see me laughing having nothing in an infinite night clear, and dangling in the light same as what you came with makes you easy to be around cuz the door remains the same width y're so easy to be around both forgetting what our name is in a dance as the sun goes down you are easy to be around y're easy to be around y're easy to be around y're easy to be around
5.
cars' three-point turns make pentagrams in the dirt at the end of the road where i sit in the morning the weeks have been hazy but something is changing i watch the sun convince the weakest cloud to let it through it said "i would have gone crooked but for you" there's a sticky orange vine here and it grows over everything i don't know what they call it i call it darling creeper i give names to the flora and to the fauna most descriptive of their character to me and there's snakes i have been warned about there's rattlers in this roundabout they come in from the chaparral they corral me on the gravel now but i like it when i'm sitting with things around me moving it may look like i'm brooding like i'm getting not much done but oh, there is a cure here the light is very pure here i'm gathering my strength like a consumptive in the sun and i would have gone crooked but for you but for you i would have gone crooked but for you oh i would have gone crooked but for you but for you i would have gone crooked... some zen artist left his red rock garden in the turnaround road where i sit in the morning it gets kicked around the cul-de-sac by those who go and double back as if there is no thoroughfare in absence of a beaten track and red ants are moving with their sick and withered comrades and they carry the bodies of the withered in their mouths because it is no big deal hey what else is there to do ? the withered one is singin' to his friend whose mouth is full with him / hymn i would have gone crooked but for you but for you i would have gone crooked but for you oh i would have gone crooked but for you but for you i would have gone crooked and i don't think i even knew until now hey i feel steady and i feel good light and emptied of last night's food there's a mountain ahead and i'm ready to go up from the edge of the turnaround road cars' three-point turns make mandalas in the dirt at the end of the road where i sit in the morning the weeks have been hazy but something is changing i watch the sun convince the smallest cloud to let it through it says "i would have gone crooked but for you i would have gone crooked but for you"
6.
sandy ree 03:21
[whoah, baby sandy ree like a hog loves corn sandy ree kickin' up dust sandy ree]* i'll live my lust sandy ree when you're in trouble with the laws that don't exist for you at all whoah, baby what can i say ? jump the line or walk away... oh, mama on my side i've fallen out i'm feelin' idle oh, lead in doubt / leaden doubt oh, casted out / cast it out but how can i get up when i know they come with a key their industry they count to two and before three they've finished you ohhhhhhhhhhhh [whoah, baby sandy ree like a hog loves corn sandy ree kickin' up dust sandy ree]* i'll live my lust sandy ree when you're in trouble with the laws that don't exist for you at all whoah, baby what can i say ? jump the line or walk away jump the line ! or jump the line or walk away... oh, lord nothin' but god nothin' but god in the way of itself we are, lord, nothin' but god but somethin' that got in the way of itself tryin' to get out of the way of itself *from an African-American spiritual, creator/creatress unknown
7.
go now into the heart where all doubt doubt and thoughts and thoughts are ushered away seems like this is the place where i'd like-- i would like to spend the rest of my days ! things are so lush and large here i like it here more and you fade from me like you know i'm dying you fade from me like i'm already bones & born again things are so lush and large here simple and drawn in big wide spaces curvature arcs in just right i like it here more and you fade from me like you know i'm dying you fade like i'm already gone with these thousand midwives who nudge me onward as you fade from me now i'm already bones and born again things are so lush and large here simple and drawn in big wide spaces curvature arcs in just right thru layers of light in big wide canopies who could go see then leave here ? content in themselves with what's diminished ? you can ignore me i say i like it here more and then you fade from me cuz you know i'm dying you fade from me cuz i'm already gone with these thousand midwives who nudge me onward as you fade from me now i'm already born inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside
8.
petite roses 01:19
petite roses bend to sniff at my ankles pink & red roses lining the path the flagstone path that leads to nowhere to nowhere decided, for now and a dog runs up with a heart in its mouth to posit it pulsing at my feet blood still ushering from its valves it shudders and gives up one last beat shudders and gives up one last beat oh who am i to get this gift ? the giver bounding off in retreat... a dog runs up with a heart in its mouth and drops it bloody at my feet roses pester at my ankles a heart lies bloody at my feet
9.
document slow-mo collision note how it won't happen before its/it's time continents shift so wide they drift until they crash on this world's other side hold together let go if you will hold together let go if you will leave comfort now unhousing and undressing go forth with no blessing blessed by no-one leave at night with no light to guide you hey once you decide to, you'll find it's fun hold together let go if you will (santa myselfa) hold together let go if you will (pull my face off) hold together let go if you will (keep on dancing) hold together or let go if you will see-- see what ? see what's left. and i want to walk out ( stay in ! stay here ! here ! ) walk two, three steps ( stay in ! stay here ! here ! here! ) and now and now and now and now and now ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hold together let go if you will hold together let go if you will hold together let go if you will nothing cares if you hold together so let go, if you will see-- see what ? see what's left. see ! see what ? see what's left.
10.
yr millions sweetnesses are sometimes not enough to keep me lapping at the floodtide of desire this is how i walk when i have given up do you see how free the body moves ? the bones inside the skin are loose and i know if i could see you that you'd be walking like this too marry / mary a virgin marry / mary not-a-virgin marry / mary someone who sold their sex to god or men marry completely and give yourself whole-heartedly to everything that wants you and everything you are i have spent time with unspoiled birds and generous sunshine who taught me doing nothing and i do recall that my very best friends were the ones who left me empty and ready to be filled again your million sweetnesses are sometimes not enough to keep me lapping at the floodtide of desire this is how i walk when i have given up do you see how free the body moves ? the bones inside the skin are loose and i know if i could see you that you'd be walking like this too
11.
look at the wild deer tumbling out from the woods to drink the water i count twenty-seven or so drinking the bay from beneath our small boat now that i've calmed down my heart beat unsteady but it isn't now that i've calmed down my heart beat unsteady but listening now it goes beat beat beat beat look at the wild deer tumbling out from the woods to drink by the shore i count twenty-seven or more the sun rises up from our oar now that i've calmed down my heart beats so steady you could set your watch by me now that i've calmed down my heart beats so steady you could set your watch by my beat beat beat beat beat beat....
12.
13.
when the flowers up on the sill turn their faces away from the dark shadows of the house to the brightness of day they are shaming you for taking more than your share when you met them in the meadow you should have just left them there see the old cat you keep around-- how he's bored by your call he used to be a hunter now his belly sweeps dust down your hall cuz you dragged a wild thing inside and turned your attention to tame it now everything you have has died the minute you go to name it think that one over think that one over think that one over think that one over and when you do come to this conclusion-- you blew out the fire when you had a chance to fan it oh, it's gotten cold here, how can you stand it ? come, get warm come outside, take my arm great green waves of wheat / weeds are waving in the fields they seem to greet us we wave our answer we wave our answer

about

“Most of this album was written during my stay at the Dorland Mountain Arts Colony in Temecula, California. I had an electricity-free cabin to myself which housed a huge, coffin-like grand piano 'once played by Rachmaninoff'. There was a woodstove, kerosene lamps, a manual typewriter, a high bed with an imposingly ornate wooden headboard, plenty of mice & stinkbugs and an integral 80-year-old caretaker named Robert. There was a small adobe library full of art books, a frog pond which grew sonorous by nightfall, a cell-phone tower on the property... I made friends with the dark, there. I'd lost my night vision after years of living in cities?

Later that summer I met Todd Horton, a jazz musician in Brooklyn who'd heard my earlier cd-r albums and was interested in making new recordings with me. We met in a park and I was charmed by his rainbow-painted toenails. We recorded tracks in his house and mine over a period of several weeks. I was adamant about 'no compression' mixing and mastering at the time.

Once we'd finished the album I felt really unsure about it. I put it away for a few months and in early 2004, made copies for a few friends who also expressed ambivalent feelings. I went ahead and created some cover art, and friends started telling me the songs were growing on them. My friend Matt Lombardo, brought some of my cd-r versions of “Oh Vanille / ova nil” to Other Music in the East Village, where they agreed to stock the album. They sold hundreds of hand-packaged copies through their store before the album was picked up and distributed on cd by Important Records in Massachusetts.

“Oh Vanille / ova nil” was rereleased on 12” vinyl in 2010,
pressed by 3 Syllables Records in Cardiff, Wales."

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--Diane

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released March 1, 2004

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Diane Cluck

Singer-songwriter in Charlottesville, VA

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